A common feminist refrain
“We don’t need anybody to give us power. It was always ours. Just eliminate the roadblocks.”
True that! But are some women on the fringes unaware of what they can do or create? I use the word ‘some’, because I suspect the number is more than ‘a few’.
It is such a vast, differentiated mass out there. How does one decide who needs what? How does one address different segments from a common platform?
The negative response and trolling are usually a result of not reaching the right segment.
Let me delineate a few levels of empowerment as I see it.
ELITE WOMEN
These are educated, capable women who excel at what they do but do not get the right opportunities, for they are a minority in the corridors of power.
They cannot fight the well-established “boys’ clubs” and make a place for themselves.
A popular misconception is that women are too soft to make certain decisions and may not fit the bill. The need is to play a certain job role and deliver results. It is not about being an advocate of women’s rights.
On the other hand, when they do make tough decisions, the sisterhood may criticise them.
A level playground soon becomes a battleground between two sides fighting for more control and playing the blame game.
What must be remembered here is that individuals have their strengths and weaknesses, and accusations should not be gender-based. A bank CEO and her husband got embroiled in a corruption case. This does not mean that all women CEOs are corrupt or manipulated by male bosses or husbands. It is just about an individual. It could have been a man in her place.
A woman’s performance will be judged on the same parameters as men's, but attributing failure to her gender is unfair. Supporting other women is not unprofessional. Men have done it for a long time and have built power centres with the club mentality.
2. MID-LEVEL PROFESSIONAL WOMEN
They struggle to balance motherhood, families and a demanding job.
They sometimes choose to opt-out and be stay-at-home wives and moms if finances permit. By all means, they have a right to do so and not be derided for their decision. They have not betrayed their profession or ‘wasted a seat in medical college’. They’ve just made the best choice under the circumstances.
Some feel frustrated about not reaching their full potential, professionally or financially. These are the ones who need better daycare facilities, support with domestic chores, and empathy at work.
Organisations need to create slots and a growth path for part-time talent.
A lady in a metropolitan city took the initiative to train women to become cab drivers. It became a safe channel for late-night women commuters. Why can’t similar initiatives be taken up and incorporated for different functions?
3. WOMEN WHO LACK AWARENESS OF THEIR POTENTIAL OR OPPORTUNITIES
Many people have grown up with pre-defined roles. They are told their lives will move within defined boundary lines, and they never make an effort to venture beyond.
The actual loss of potential happens here.
A classmate of mine was married off when she was in the ninth grade. While preparing for our matriculation exams, we learned she had been blessed with a baby boy. I guess she was a year older than us, but yet only 16. This happened in a suburb of the financial capital, Mumbai, which is not a remote village.
We lost touch. I do not know if she managed to study further or develop her singing talent or if she was lost in the crowd of un-glorified housewives and mothers.
I recall another polio-stricken girl—good-looking and scoring good grades in school. An unemployed lad from the village agreed to marry her in return for a job and accommodation in the city arranged by her parents. She was grateful for ‘being accepted’ despite her physical handicap. All my efforts at injecting my feminist fervour into her met with a cold response: ‘This is not acceptable in our community.’
A high-ranking bank officer from a so-called lower caste could not find a groom matching her status in her community but refused to look beyond. The argument was that her father was a social activist fighting for community rights, and she could not betray his cause. I wonder what kind of cause it was to block her happiness. I hear she died of cancer in her forties. Maybe the conflict between different roles got too much to handle.
The effort needed is to unblock mindsets before removing barriers to growth. They need to identify their talent, visualise their growth path, and then set out to achieve it.
The battles they fight along the way or the support they attract will be the same as those of many others on the path. But getting on that path is important.
Coaching programs can be offered, but they must come on that platform first.
4. WOMEN WHO LACK EDUCATION AND OPPORTUNITIES
At this level, social initiatives are needed to provide platforms for education and paid work.
Mindset coaching and a level playground for growth are the next steps.
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