Leftover Women - Sheng Nu

I started my professional journey in a public sector bank, where transfers were ‘de rigeur’ to get a promotion. I recall envying my single female colleagues, who floated through the process effortlessly.

Closer conversations revealed that given a choice, they would like to be looked after financially by a husband.

I recalled a line in my Economics textbook that said, “Marriage is universal.” I wondered if it was true and why a textbook would make such assumptions.

Gone are the days…. SINGLE MILLENNIALS

Girls are now confident about living alone and flaunting a single status with pride.

I correct myself. It’s the same with boys. The millennials are not embarrassed about their single status.

Parents sheepishly admit that they have no control over their children and move on to other topics. In more intimate circles, they express concern about the support network their single children will lack in their old age. Why do people discount the power of new networks that can develop?

The world is changing, but this article on single women beyond the age of 27 (Really? Is that old?) in China being labelled leftover women’ or “ Sheng Nu” brought my focus back to the subject. Leftover Women in China

Is there an equivalent term for guys who choose to remain single?

WHO ARE THE LEFTOVER WOMEN OR THOSE WHO MISSED THE BUS?

This article says the social system intends to shame and humiliate them into getting married. Remaining single or not choosing motherhood is sacrilege.

Women retaliate by flaunting their riches and affluent lifestyles to justify their ‘well-being’, which also helps parents justify their single status.

My mind goes back to a single friend’s mother telling everyone that her daughters focused on their careers (both are Ph. D.s). But for sure … those not wealthy or successful also have a right to retain their independence and single status.

RESTRICTIVE ASIAN SOCIETIES

Asian cultures place a lot of expectations on married women to adapt to lifestyles in their marital home and surrender their identity. That itself becomes a deterrent to emancipated women choosing marriage.

Do they realise this? The harder they clamp women’s existence in marriage, the more they will clamour to stay single.

More so when live-in relationships and casual dating are gaining acceptability, single women choosing to adopt a child is also getting commoner.

Why should a woman choose to be or not choose to be bound by an institution?

I leave you with the thought.