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Be your own Valentine

I’m sure you are celebrating Valentine’s Day with cake n roses n champagne, and I wish you a lot of happiness in life.

February 14 is a special day. Social media talks about variants of love - from self love to canine love to love in relationships other than romance and marriage.


I invite you to list the loves of your life from 1-10.

Let it flow down. It doesn’t matter if you stop at 3,4,5 …. whatever and do not reach 10.

A few people/things/concepts to ponder on..... It is just a jumbled list, and you can add more items to it.

  • Husband/Partner

  • Parents

  • Son/Daughter

  • Career

  • Hobby

  • Chocolate

  • Reading

  • Watching TV

  • My future self

Note that I do not say ‘self’, but future self.

I love myself as I am today, but where do I want to be in future? What do I want to be in future?

I do not ask you to rate the above items in order, because it is a difficult task.

When I build a favourite list, there are several things that compete for the topmost slot.

I can hear my own screams.

How can I rate my relationship or child below my career? It’s not fair. I can’t be so heartless or non-committal or undependable.

We want everything. Fair enough!


Write the quantum of time you spend on each of your loves, and allocate a percentage.

What is the percentage of your waking hours allocated to your Future Self?

Forget what are you doing about it. Effectiveness comes next. Just think how much time are you devoting to fulfilment of your dreams.


See the diagram below. It is taken from one of Bob Proctor’s videos, where he says repetition is the only way to manifest anything in your life. If you don’t repeat, you wander off to spaces which do not contribute to achievement of your own goal.

I give here the link to another short video by Bob Proctor, to re-emphasise the value of repetition.


The point is to do something every day.

  • Scan for a site or group, where you find like-minded people on a similar mission.

  • Look for job postings. Apply. Check where you stand in the competition.

  • Look for online re-skilling courses. Join those. Complete those.

  • Contact people in your network to know what’s going on in your area of interest.

  • Set up a Google feed for articles of your interest, and read at least 5 every day.


I have well-meaning friends calling me to check what am I doing these days. The trigger could be the lockdown or my husband travelling for work.

They perfectly understand if I talk about paid assignments, and respect my time and space. They are sympathetic if talk about managing without domestic help in Covid times.

What they don’t understand is my writing, content creation for my own sites, online learning, volunteering or unpaid work.

What I actively seek to do is - either eliminate these people from the close circle, or spend less time interacting with them. It sounds rude, but I’m quite candid in my conversation, about not wanting to be on the ‘time-passers’ bandwagon.

They might try to make you feel guilty, but don't fall prey to it. To each her own....


If goal-setting seems confusing, use the technique in the video below to determine priorities and chalk out a plan of action. It applies to all kinds of goals, not just financial.


So, the message here, gals, is to not just love yourself, but work on your self and your future self.

Keep writing, keep sharing….

If you wish to join a community of Women Returners, you are welcome to do so here

If money or money management is an area of interest, you may follow us on


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